Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Simple Tips to Deal With Failure

 Failure, one of the most feared topics by people. If you’re having difficulty in dealing with failure, this will be the perfect post for you.
What I’m going to share with you here today are the 3 simple tips how you can deal with failure successfully.

I know that this is a very common problem that most people will face in their life. Unfortunately, most people are not doing anything to cope with it. Instead, they let their fear of failure causes them to fail.
Let’s dive right into the meat, I know you want to learn these tips right now…
1. Is It The Actual Failure Or The Fear Of Failure?
When the feeling of failing struck you, ask yourself this question, “what am I afraid of, the failure or the fear of failing?”
“I’ll do what I fear and fear will disappear” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Understand this, people experience the fear of failure because it is what is happening in their mind. The failure itself is not fatal. It is the fear of failure that causes most people to fail.
Think about it, before you actually do something, you afraid that you’re going to fail. This shows that it is your fear, your thinking, your feeling and your emotion that is creating the feeling of fear.
Or maybe after you have tried something else and you failed. Now, you developed the fear of failing and you don’t dare to take any actions anymore. The same thing is happening here.
It is the fear, the feeling and your thinking that is causing you to feel the fear, not the event or the ‘failure’.

Whenever you understand this, you can better handle the fear because it is something that you created by yourself. The fear is created in your mind and your thoughts.
Therefore, what you need to do in order to deal with it, is to deal with yourself, your mind and your thoughts.
2. Ask Yourself These Questions
Take the example that you are afraid of public speaking, but deep down in your mind, you got a burning desire to be an inspirational speaker.
Every time when you face the crowd, you will freeze and start shivering. Well, now you have only two choices, either you give up to be your favorite inspirational speaker and running away, or you can choose to conquer your fear.
When this happen, ask these questions…
What is the worst that could happen?
If you were to speak in front of a crowd, what is the worst that could happen? They could laugh at you or think that you’re an idiot. You might stutter and forget what you’re suppose to say and get embarrassed.
But let me tell you one thing, nobody will remember how worse you are once you’ve succeed. People will only think of your good thing, trust me.
Think about Thomas Edison, he failed more than thousand times, but when you ask someone about Thomas Edison, people will only told you that he is a great inventor.
If the worst were to happen, could he live with it?
Oh well, sure you can live with it. Take it as you’re making jokes in front of the public. You won’t get killed you won’t die if the worst were to happen. So start thinking clearly, and you will banish the fear feeling.
If the worst were to happen, will you lose anything?
If the public laugh at you and think that you’re an idiot, or if you did get stucked and forgot what you supposed to say, will you lose anything?
Not really, maybe your pride will hurt a little, but you’re not going to lose anything permanently.
Maybe you will lose a little self-esteem temporarily, but if you really think of it clearly, if you have conquer the feeling of fear, you’re actually building up your self-esteem!
What is the best possible outcome?
For the case here, you could inspire thousands of people, you could motivates people to a better life. You could then hone your skill and grow more self-confident and therefore speaks more convincingly in the future.
Compare the worst possible outcome with the best possible outcome.
If the worst result is that you stutter or forget a few things or even have people laugh at you, while the best outcome is that you inspire and motivate people to live a better life, and you will turn to a professional speaker, you will say that the best outcome far outweigh the worst.
Maybe you could think of it this way, if you could conquer fear then all of your dreams will come true, isn’t that your dreams come true is much more interesting? So what are fears? They’re nothing but just a feeling that lies in your mind.
Based on all the facts, what is your most likely outcome?
You will only get nervous get worry if you focus on yourself, but if you take it as you’re here to serve people, to help people, your nervousness will disappear.
You could create a mental slide show of yourself on stage, with all your facts, interesting points and stories, and see yourself done the presentation successfully.
You will do very well speaking, will expect as much, and will prepare in advance and practice to make this happen easily and effortlessly.
See, by analyzing your fears, you can discover amazing way to push through them. And you must remember this, the feeling of fear only exist in your mind.
3. Use Positive Affirmations To Bring Back Motivation
After you have went through the first 2 tips, you can use positive affirmations to bring back your motivation and never to fear failure anymore.
Positive affirmations such as “I’m good enough, in fact, I’m great!” or “I’m destined for great success!” are amazing in keeping you motivated.
And here’s a famous affirmation that you can use…
“SW SW SW Next – Some Won’t, Some will, So What, Next!”
Just think about Thomas Edison, Wright Brothers, Sylvester Stallone and Henry Ford, how much rejections and failure they’ve faced before? A lot more than ordinary people.
In fact, the more you get rejected, the more success you are!
And what do you remember of them? Only their successes. So you see, people will not remember about your failure, people will only remember your successes, your amazing results.


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